Why I No Longer Want to Be a Psychotherapist

For over four decades, I walked the path of a psychotherapist—holding space for pain, offering tools, creating treatment plans, and helping people “feel better.” But in October 2013,  something deeper  whispered through the cracks of my clinical training. That whisper turned into a calling of Shamanism, and that calling became too loud to ignore. This is why I returned my license to a board that no longer aligned with my belief system. 

Through my firsthand, experience,  I realized being a psychotherapist was too limiting .

Why?

Because therapy, as it’s widely practiced, often focuses too much on the individual—on “fixing” what’s wrong, reducing symptoms, and helping people feel better as quickly as possible. And while there’s a time and place for comfort and stabilization, I could no longer bypass what was present. And what’s present was very sacred.

The goal is not to for us to feel better as humans —it’s to feel what’s present. The rage. The grief. The ancestral sorrow. The numbing. The longing. The truth.

Modern psychotherapy, for all its strengths, pathologizes the natural responses of a soul navigating a wide system. It encourages us to find personal solutions to systemic and spiritual wounds. But how can we truly heal without naming the roots of our pain?

We live in a world deeply shaped by colonization, disconnection from the Earth, and severed lineages. These traumas didn’t start with us. We carry the pain of our ancestors, the displacement of Indigenous peoples, the fragmentation of communities, the shaming of emotion, the fear of spirit.

And yet, I found modern therapy does not speak to these truths. It does not make space for ceremony, for Spirit, for the unseen threads that bind us. It doesn’t deep dive the forgiveness that is needed for the systemic oppression —not just for others, but for ourselves, for the ways we’ve unknowingly perpetuated harm from our own unhealed pain.

This is why I’ve turned toward the wisdom of the ancients. The ceremonies. The drums. The fires. The collective healing. The lineage work. The soul work. The remembrance that we are not broken—we are remembering. We are repairing. 

In my book M.A.P. 2 Consciousness, I speak about the “killer energies”: judgment, blame, criticism, fault-finding, and anger. These are the subtle poisons we carry and pass on. We have been parented with these energies and most of us have parented our children with them as well. It’s time to awaken and to allow ourselves to fully feel, no matter how painful. Even if it feels counterintuitive. Because when we operate from pain, we cause pain  without even knowing it. And the loop continues.

But there is another way.

A way that isn’t about quick fixes or labeling symptoms.

A way that honors the body, the ancestors, the land, and the Spirit.

A way that holds space for the messy, the mystical, and the mysterious.

It begins with presence.

It deepens through community.

And it transforms through forgiveness.

So, I step away from the identity of “psychotherapist” not because I no longer care about healing—but because I care too much to keep pretending that healing happens without holding witness to ourselves. 

We must return to the village.

We must remember the fire.

We must come back to ourselves, together.

If you’re ready to stop chasing “feeling better” and start living what’s real, you are not alone.

Let’s do the soul work!